Seeds of Connection, Roots of Engagement, Branches of Character: How Student-Professor Relationships Drive Character Education

Trust is fundamental to any relationship—relationships move at the speed of trust. It is important for students to be able to trust their professors, but just as much for professors to be able to trust their students. One professor noted, “I cannot imagine having a meaningful relationship with a student that I did not trust.”

Support and empathy are key drivers of student engagement; thus, it is important for professors to ensure their students recognize that their experiences and perspectives matter, and they are available to support their success academically and beyond.

Respect and kindness are essential components in any relationship as well and are part of ensuring a safe, while still intellectually stimulating, environment. “An aspect of respect is creating opportunities for co-constructed learning, leaning away from an ‘I’m the expert here’ perspective and modeling an intellectual humility as a professor.” ~ Professor insight and reflection

No meaningful relationship is one-sided. However, professors reflected on the power-dynamic between a professor and student that places limits on full reciprocity. In compensating for this, many professors noted taking the lead in inviting students into building relationships by consistently and intentionally making themselves available to their students.

It’s difficult to establish a meaningful relationship with every student when the class sizes grow and the ability to make each individual student feel seen and known becomes increasingly more difficult, both on the end of the student and that of the professor.

• A large lecture class (100-300 students) was students’ most reported challenge to engaging with professors (74% of students) and peers (72% of students) in their class.

There were several challenges that were commonly reported in gathering feedback from professors:

• Time. The normal academic responsibilities of professors and pressures to prioritize research limit their capacity for direct student engagement and their ability to be available to support their students.
• Emotional capacity. Other responsibilities of life both inside and outside the academic world—especially those that require social, emotional, and mental energy—place limits on the professors’ ability to foster meaningful relationships with their students. Professors only have so much to pour out during different seasons of life.

There were several challenges that were commonly reported in gathering feedback from students and professors:

• Time. Students are also juggling classes, extracurriculars, other relationships, and responsibilities.
• Emotional capacity. Students may only have so much to give, depending on their season of life, which may limit their ability to engage meaningfully with their professors and peers even if they deeply desire those relationships.
• Discomfort in initiating relationships. Discomfort in initiation was reported by students in both professor relationships (58% of students) and peer relationships (64% of students). Regarding peer relationships, most students also reported believing their classmates were uninterested in engagement (68% of students), likely impacting their comfort in initiation of those relationships.
• Uncertainty about how or when to engage. 58% of students said that they were uncertain about how or when to engage in relationships with their professors, reflecting a possible gap in knowledge and lack of confidence that students have in how to approach professors.
• Imposter syndrome. Students may be experiencing imposter syndrome, feeling their knowledge on the content is insufficient for them to meaningfully contribute, limiting their engagement with their professors and peers inside and outside of class.
• Lack of communicated availability. Professors may have done the intentional work of making themselves available, but it is just as important to communicate this availability to their students, repeatedly reminding students of the invitation into a relationship.

There may be insufficient value placed on student-professor relationships within the norms of academia, for both professors and students.

• Research. Professors may prioritize research over relational engagement, seeing it as outside the scope of their primary responsibilities.
• Content and Efficiency. There is pressure to efficiently get through the content of the course and honor students in ensuring they learn in alignment with the course objectives, making it difficult to balance student engagement. However, a professor notes, covering a great amount of content with a disengaged group is far less impactful than covering the most important content within the context of a highly engaged, connected group.
• Students. Students may not fully recognize the value of forming relationships with their professors, viewing their role in the classroom as passive receivers of information rather than active participants in a learning community.

Professors are responsible for setting the tone of the class, so by modeling vulnerability, openness, and letting your students know a bit about you, you extend an outstretched arm that students are invited to take to enter a relationship.

• Let Yourself Be Known. Start the class by authentically introducing yourself to your class, sharing a bit about your academic journey, your interests or hobbies, things that bring you joy, and any other things that seem meaningful to share with your students. Vulnerability breeds connection. Allowing yourself to be known then invites students into a relationship with you.
• Invite Questions. After sharing, give the invitation for any questions that your students may have. Follow-up questions allow for further relationship building and give students an opportunity to lean into curiosity in a low stakes setting by seeking to know their professor more.
• “In each class, students are encouraged to ask me questions about anything they want to know about me. Research has shown that students learn better and enjoy their classes more when they see their professor as a complete person” ~ Professor insight and reflection.

Sometimes students do not recognize the value of relationships with their professors (mentorship, support, a deeper sense of belonging in the academic community, etc.), so take time early in the semester to emphasize to your students that student-professor relationships are valuable for students. This does not need to be a one-time thing but can and should be done continually throughout the semester.

• Clarify the (Mis)Perception. This can also be an opportunity for professors to clarify the misperception that their peers aren’t interested in engaging (68% report this!) but the reality is, most students feel the same way. This disconnect is a messaging issue, and professors can play a key role in reshaping it.
• Collect & Share. On the first day of class/first few days/first week, consider using a simple Google Form, index card activity, or Mentimeter to gather fun and low-stakes insights to be shared with the rest of the class, building commonality and connection:
  • What’s your favorite hobby on a free afternoon?
  • Where is the place you love to study?
  • Where is your favorite coffee or food place in Charlottesville?
  • What’s your favorite place to be on Grounds?
  • What's your ideal way to take a break from studying?

This is a very simple way to help students feel seen and known within the classroom.

• Make Name Tags. This can be an opportunistic activity for students to express themselves, giving professors and their peers a clearer picture of a bit of who they are. Name tags can include more creative aspects too in addition to a students’ name and pronouns:
  • Stickers
  • Drawings – this could be prompted with “What are some of your favorite things?” or “What are some things that are meaningful to you?”
• Knowing Students in Large Lectures. Learning your students’ stories becomes significantly more difficult as the class grows. Some ideas to consider could be:
  • During opportunities in class where students are encouraged to participate by asking questions or sharing thoughts, ask students their names as you call on them. Don’t be afraid to ask students again, even if you faintly remember calling on them previously, this reminds students of your humanity and can be framed as an opportunity to lessen the intimidation.

When students share personal experiences or interests, take note of them and reference them later! This shows genuine investment and makes students feel valued.

• Listen Actively. If a student shares something personal, remember it and follow up later (it may be helpful to make a physical note). This honors and welcomes their vulnerability.
• Reference Past Contributions. This can be acknowledgement of a student’s contribution in a discussion or past assignment. If feasible, individually recognizing students’ contributions in an assignment is incredibly touching to students—searching for one or two significant or praiseworthy aspects of their assignment or contribution to address in-person or in the comments of an assignment is encouraging. This is an opportunity for professors to practice giving encouragement and model searching for what is praiseworthy.
• "When students write about their own personal experiences, sometimes I’ll mention it to them to show I see them." ~ Professor insight and reflection.

Asking open-ended questions to your students is an easy way to build relationships and allows them to share their thoughts, values, and experiences. These can be questions before class, after class, or within discussions.

• Connecting to Students’ Experiences. It is easier for students to engage in discussions and class materials that resonate with them on a deeper, more personal level. Finding a way to connect the material to students’ lives through discussion questions makes the learning more meaningful. This reflection could be placed at the beginning to ease students into the discussion, at the end to offer thoughtful closure, or even used as an invitation for students to continue pondering outside of class—perhaps ending with a final question that could later serve as the opening to a deeper conversation.
• Fun questions. Here are some fun questions that invite students to share about themselves in a low-stakes way and at a level of vulnerability they are comfortable with:
  • What would your perfect Saturday afternoon look like? ~ Professor insight and reflection
  • What’s something you love more than the average person?
  • What’s a small, everyday moment that brings you joy?
  • What’s a book, movie, or show you wish you could experience again for the first time?
  • If you could instantly become an expert in something, what would it be?

Involve students in setting classroom expectations. This fosters a sense of shared ownership and respect and helps to establish consistency and safety. It may be easier for students to attend class if they know what to expect from the space they are entering.

• Revisit Norms Regularly. Revisit and reference these norms to continue to reinforce mutual respect and engagement—part of revisiting norms can look like reorienting back to the classroom expectations if the current situation within the classroom is beginning to drift from the established norms.

Encourage students to ask questions and explore ideas without fear of being wrong. Reinforce intellectual curiosity by emphasizing that learning is a process, not a performance.

• Exploration Over Accuracy. This can look like valuing students’ exploration of the content more than their accuracy. This does not mean that accuracy should be disregarded—part of showing you care as a professor is demonstrating genuine care for your students’ learning—but recognizes that exploration through questions and uncertainties is part of learning. This is also an opportunity for professors to practice intellectual humility, recognizing that learning never stops, and that they can learn from students’ unique perspectives and stories.
  • Add a “Classroom Values” Box or Banner on Canvas Homepage. This can be a constant reminder for students as they are navigating within the course’s canvas page. You can pin this to the top of your Canvas homepage or embed it in a short announcement post at the beginning of each unit/module. To add variety, you could include a quote relating to the value that changes with every unit.
  • Reminder at the End of Class. This can include a slide every now and then or a Mentimeter with one of the values and a short prompt like:
    • “What’s a question you’re carrying from this week’s reading?”
    • “Name one thing you’re unsure about—uncertainty is part of learning!”
  • Professors can then address these in the moment as part of an anonymous question answer (especially within large lectures) or at the start of the next class. This allows students to practice intellectual humility and curiosity in a low-stakes, anonymous setting.
• Embed the Value in Assignments. This can include adding language like this to the intro of discussion posts, reflections, or prompts: “There’s no ‘correct’ take here—I’m more interested in how you’re thinking through the question than in landing the right answer.” “This is a space to explore, wonder, and wrestle—uncertainty is encouraged.”
• Add it to Email Signoffs. Just one sentence that shows it’s not just a week-one idea, such as: “Reminder: It’s okay not to have the ‘right’ answer. Curiosity and growth matter most in this class.”

Giving students an opportunity to give honest and thoughtful feedback shows them that you value their expertise in their experience in your classroom.

• Sharing Feedback. Summarizing the feedback when the class next meets demonstrates that students’ voices are heard.
• Adjust Accordingly. Trust is built when feedback leads to recognizable adjustments in teaching practices or expectations as informed by students’ voices.

Office hours are a great opportunity for student-professor relationships to develop more intentionally within a one-on-one context or smaller group. This is something that is important for every professor to do regularly—not simply as needed or passed onto a TA or grader. This creates barriers for students and communicates a lack of importance or burdensome nature of the time. It does not need to seem like another thing to add-on but can be reimagined to better foster relationships, meaningful to both the students and the professor.  

• Broadened Vision for Office Hours. There is an underutilization of office hours, which professor insights suggest may be due to student or professor perception of office hours as solely purposed for academic help. First, it is important for professors to have a broadened vision of what this time can look like, to then be able to articulate this to students.
• Rebranding Office Hours. Office hours may not have an appealing connotation for students, either from previous experiences, misunderstanding of the time, intimidation, or a number of other reasons. So, it can be helpful to give this time a different name in the process of re-envisioning office hours. Some creative options could be:
  • Open Door Hours
  • Drop-In Discussions
  • Ask Anything Hours
  • Framing the time after the day of the week — Meet-Up Mondays, Talk-Time Tuesdays, Walk-In Wednesdays, Thoughtful Thursdays, or Find Me Fridays
• MEADE Money. Faculty are given money tethered to their ID each semester to use for coffee or food with students on grounds to help facilitate faculty/student interactions outside of class. Feedback from UVA students suggested that students value opportunities to meet with their professors outside of class, so adding the incentive of coffee or food that is paid for by the university is a great way to honor this.
  • There can be built in times throughout the semester (once or twice depending on class size) where “Meet-Up-Mondays” take place in an on-grounds coffee shop! This is also an opportunity to encourage and support students in practicing initiating mentor relationships.
  • It may be helpful to have a section on your canvas home page to continually remind students of these opportunities throughout the semester—as well as in-person reminders!
• Consistency and Flexibility. Many students, especially at UVA, thrive within routine, so it is important to have a specific set time for these hours for consistency. However, it is also helpful to then offer flexibility for students with conflicting schedules and allow students to suggest times for one-on-one meetings.
• Continual Invitation. While professors cannot force students into relationships with them, professors can continually extend an outstretched arm through regularly inviting students to these set aside hours and emphasizing these hours are open for informal conversations, not just academic concerns.
  • Sample Invitation:

“Hey everyone! I want you to know that my [Open Door Hours / Drop-In Discussions / Ask Anything Hours] are not just for academic questions, they’re a chance for us to get to know each other better. Whether you have questions about class, need advice on navigating college, or just want to chat about your interests and goals, I’d love to connect with you and invite your curiosity.

If the idea of stopping by feels intimidating, know that you’re always welcome—there’s no agenda or pressure. You can come alone or bring a friend. If the scheduled times don’t work for you, just let me know, and we can find a time that does.

I genuinely value getting to know my students beyond the classroom, so please consider this an open invitation. I’m here to support you, not just as a student, but as a person.”

Reaching out to students that have been disengaged shows that their disengagement is both noticed and cared about. When students begin to disengage—falling silent in class, missing assignments, or just seeming off—it’s easy to assume they’re no longer interested. But they may be stressed, overwhelmed, unsure, or feeling invisible. Reaching out doesn’t need to be dramatic. It just needs to be human and genuine.

• Simple Check-Ins. “I’ve noticed you seem a bit quieter lately in class—anything I can do to support you?”
• Reassurance of Engagement/Re-engagement.It’s important to reassure students that it is not too late to engage or re-engage in the course or with their professor. Sometimes students feel that if they don’t engage in the beginning of the semester then they have missed the opportunity, so reassuring students that, even if they have never shown up to “office hours" before or have been struggling to engage, it’s not too late to engage and that you are there to support them.

Making space for students to share personal or academic wins and celebrating together as a class builds a supportive community. This allows both students and professors to practice gratitude, humility, and encouragement of those around them!

• Start Class with Wins. Begin a class by asking, “Does anyone have good news to share with the class?”

Provide each student with thoughtful feedback on their assignments that celebrate effort while guiding improvement. Giving thoughtful, detailed feedback to your students on their assignments is very meaningful and demonstrates care. Taking the time to clearly explain what a student has done well and how they can improve shows that professors care about supporting the academic success of their students. This is a way to still make students feel seen and to let them know their hard work has been acknowledged.

• Recognize Progress. Celebrate effort, not just outcomes!
• Make it Personal. Highlight specific strengths and growth areas to show investment in their learning.
• This becomes more difficult in larger class sizes; however, it can be an opportunity for the teacher’s assistants to cultivate these relationship-building skills as well!

Create consistent small groups that collaborate throughout the semester, helping students develop trust and mutual accountability. Having consistency with groups allows students to get to know each other on a deeper level.